Emotionally Focused Therapy

Emotionally Focused Therapy, known as EFT, is an effective therapy for relational problems developed by dr. Sue Johnson. De basis of EFT is the so-called Attachment Theory, which claims that no one is made to be alone. Every human being functions better when in connection with a loved one that is emotionally available and nearby. In the secure proximity of that loved one, we can deal with almost anything!
Sometimes, in a relationship emotions can run high and when this happens the proximity of our loved one may not feel secure at all. Partners may make hurtful remarks or may not speak to each other at all anymore. Often couples get stuck in a pattern, where the behaviour of one partner amplifies the behaviour of the other, and the other way around. Many times it proves too difficult for us to stop this dance. When this is the case, EFT can help.

In EFT we use emotions as a way in, to eventually develop a better understanding of each other. Hidden underneath anger or silence is often a lot of pain. Only when you are able to tell your partner what is causing the pain your experiencing and what you would like differently, the other person can be any of meaning to you. To get to this point both partners must be willing to open up and show their vurnerabilities. Your EFT therapist will help you in this process.

In EFT therapy we identify negative interaction patterns that developed in your relationship and we will help you to find words for your emotions and to express your needs. Communication between you and your loved one will improve and you will experience more connection.

In the case of verbal, physical or sexual violence, EFT is not the right therapy for you. The violence will have to end first. This can happen with the help of a therapist that has experience in treating domestic violence and in EFT. Only when the violence has stopped, EFT can help to treat the underlying relational problems.

For more information on EFT in English, see the website of dr. Sue Johnson or visit the website of The International Centre of Excelence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT).

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